Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Bumps in the Road

So it happens, you're chugging along at a steady pace, clearly set on the road to success, when out of nowhere, you hit a snag.  It's always something silly too, something that you should have seen coming but somehow missed it.  Was it in the goal setting stage? The planning stage?  One thing is certain though, you feel like an absolute dork for not seeing it on the horizon.

Don't stress, it happens to all of us. The trick is, of course, how you respond. There are a lot of people say that you can either pick yourself up and move on or let the hiccup define you.  While this is a truism, in my experience the people that have uttered these words are coming from one of two camps.  You either can crumple into a ball of self loathing, allowing the mistake to grind down your resolve, or you drop it and move on.

I don't much care for this way of thinking.  It does not allow for the, required, self reflection that needs to be done.  It also assumes that getting down is a bad thing.

I speak from experience when I say that the black dog at your doorstep is just as important as the exulted feelings you get from a great success.  It's a tricky thing, finding that the down feelings are, in fact, a good thing. 

I'm a firm believer that the modern obsession with always being upbeat and positive is a wholly new development in the culture.  The pervaisive thought element that says "everything is going to be great" confounds me.  Maybe it's my upbringing , or maybe it's the books I read, but I know that not everything will always be alright.  You'll have failures. You'll have wins. But being happy that the failure occured is a patently stupid thing to do. 

Losing should hurt. It tells you that you need to get better.  Don't deny those feelings, and for god sake don't try to dress it up as a win that you lost. Seriously. Don't. You are better thatn that.

Take your licks and move on. Definitely say "never gonna do that again". But then... Don't ever actually do that again. 

Take the bad, it happens, it defines you as much as any victory, sometimes more so.

And remember, from time to time, we all need a black dog, she may be a surly mean bitch, but she's your surly mean bitch. Work with it.

Keep buggering on.

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