Tuesday, October 27, 2015


These happen. You don't do it on purpose but the at the end of the day; You Fucked It Up.

Screwed the pooch, took a walk down the peer and didn't turn around, completely blew it.

You know you have done it, we all have. The trick is, what did you do when it came out?  some of us try to cover it up, try to buy time. This is the absolute worst thing you can do. Sometimes you have to just man up and tell the truth that you totally got it wrong.

This happened to me recently. At work no less. Terrible moment.  I knew I was living on borrowed time and I got called on it what hard. Like... I should not have a job, but for the grace of the situation I still do.

I don't know how I got into the situation... no that's not true I know exactly how I got there... I procrastinated. And I really hurt my personal capital in the process. My reputation has been hurt by no other reason than I didn't handle what needed handling when it needed handling.

Sometimes this happens and you get pushed straight back against the wall and don't know what to do from there. Some people crumple and fall down begging not to get hit anymore. Hoping on the mercy of the situation not to keep hitting them.  Then some people get their backs against the wall and decidee they have had enough of it and come out swinging like a madman. I'd like to think I'm that madman, and the person that is kicking the crap outta me is myself.

 It's my failings that are causing this hurt to me. Not the actions of other people. My lesser nature has got me against the wall and now I need to come out and fight back against it the best I know how. Methodically and with a mean purpose.  I need to look that part of me square n the eye and fight it off like it needs to die. Because I cannot get by with it's existence anymore. It;s going to cause me more hurt over and over and over again.

So how do you do it. First; identify the problem. Honestly. See it for what it is. doesn't matter if it's something that you are ashamed to admit to, you have to do this. Put it right out there and say "This is the reason"

It may hurt, you may not like doing it, you may feel very very uncomfortable doing this; because really who like looking in the mirror knowing what is going to be staring back.

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